There are so many changes this new, unexpected state has wrought on my body and my life in general. Today I start my 11th week, but I'm already firmly in maternity clothes. If you were passing me on the street you'd think I'd either totally let myself go, or I done got myself knocked up. My once-flat stomach is firmly, undeniably pooched. My gawd, I'm going to be a whale. After years of careful weight monitoring, watching the scale creep upward is truly difficult.
And my chest, never meager to begin with, has rocketed past the Ds into what I call the Es. For flippin' ENORMOUS. I feel like Dolly Parton, and every time a male head swivels, I feel dirty--instinctively putting my hand to my stomach as if to shield the baby's eyes from disgusting men. The Banker, not mincing words, has even taken to shaking his head. "They're huge," he sighs. "I'm not gonna lie."
And I can't even look at a piece of meat or fish without every ounce of me quivering in repulsion. Red Lobster commercials send me into fits. I want carbohydrates, thank you, and a never-ending supply. Bagels, pasta, mashed potatoes, yes, yes, and more. The organic produce I paid out the ass for? That's the sort of thing I vomit all over myself when I'm about two minutes from work, forcing a 15-minute drive home in my own spew to clean up and change.
Oh, and yes, that kick-ass trip to Peru planned for two years? That has to go by the wayside. I'm admittedly crushed. Despite my joy over our surprise, my family and friends knew what that adventure meant to me. We've promised ourselves to re-book the trip in a few years. If the travel company ever returns our funds, which is what that insurance thing was supposed to be all about.
The Banker and I did agree to take a sloppy seconds trip. We booked our tickets about two weeks ago...to London. I think the universe is laughing at me, denying my travel-starved body any sort of vacation. We’re slated to leave on Aug. 31st and are in wait-and-see mode. If there's another terrorist attack or plan uncovered, we'll eat the money and cancel. And I think I'll begin to climb the walls in frustration. That or eat a pound of mashed potatoes.
7 comments:
Kat, Congratulations! I'm so glad that the change you mentioned in your Absence post was so positive!! You're going to be a great mommy...have you thought about getting rid of your sports car yet? I hope you two can enjoy that vacation in London and good luck during your pregnancy!
Ashley--Thanks for the kind words and the warm wishes! Hope you're doing well. What are you up to?
Aahh...Zippy. That's yet another change I forgot to mention. Can you say farewell sexy sports car, hello sensible four-door? I did make one demand: No mini van. Looks like we're picking up another Jeep Cherokee.
Our sloppy-seconds trip was a week in Hawaii, although the six-hour flight and one very choppy boat trip almost killed Her Lovely Self.
Two words: crystallized ginger. The crystallized part is sugar so it cuts the strong taste of the ginger. HLS hated the idea but once she chewed on a few, she considered them a miracle.
In the spice aisle at the grocery, or also at natural food stores.
Have you written a blog yet about all the unsolicited advice other parents are giving you and how what you really want to tell them is to piss off?
Have I mentioned yet how happy I am for you?
MM
Nice on the mashed potatoes. I'd give anything for that, honestly, being on a diet. In fact, pregnancy is a good way to literally eat whatever you want. It sure beats cutting calories and subsequently, taste.
an obvious tip from an obviously never-been-pregnant person...don't weigh yourself!!!!
don't watch the scale creep up. just wait until the doc tells you you are perfect and you are doing great :)
slap me if you want.
i'm really happy for you guys.
Oh, I'm not up to much...just working a lot...I got a second job at a restaurant called Fritz Co. Grille in Overland Park. I need to pay off my credit card, it's killing me! My boyfriend got two bob-tail kittens this weekend, so I've been playing with the new babies as much as possible!
congratulations!!
our sloppy seconds trip was to Boise. I think London beats Boise.
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