The other weekend my parents, The Banker, and Becca and I crammed into our car and drove to visit my dad's parents in Bella Vista. My grandparents had only seen Becca once since her birth and were anxious to see her again. With my Grammy fighting cancer and heart problems and my PopPop losing ground to Alzheimer's, we'd urged them not to make the drive to see us but to be patient and we'd make a weekend trip to visit. Finally we found the time in every one's packed schedules to make the trip.
I was on pins and needles about the whole thing. An infant in the car for HOW long? Hours at the grandparents' house? Dinner at a restaurant? And then a stay at a hotel? And a visit to my grandparents' church so they could show off their great-granddaughter? There were so many ways this could have gone badly.
But it didn't.
Becca was a champ, thoroughly behaving herself in a fashion she never does at home. She was happy, patient, and cute as a button. Why she can't pull out that attitude more for us, I'll never know. But the important thing is that the visit went incredibly well and meant the world to my grandparents.
I think the trip may have been harder on me than on Peanut. Stressful and tiring, yes. But it was more than that. My grandparents talked about moving into an assisted living facility, a decision whose time has truly come. But it forces me to look again at what I've been trying to avoid seeing---that my grandparents are old and aren't as invincible as a child thinks they are.
What's more is that my Grammy said that once they move what they'll need into the facility (whenever they get around to finding one), the grand kids need to come and pick out what they want from the house before it all goes in an estate sale. When I was young, there was nothing like going to my grandparents' house. There were so many cool nick-knacks, countless collectibles, and an assortment of tchotchkes. (Both my grandparents are serious collectors...er, hoarders.)
But somewhere, somehow, the allure of my grandparents' house started to diminish. I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but all their trinkets started to look, well, junky. And on this latest visit, as I looked around, I was hard pressed to find much that I would willingly haggle over between the other grand kids. It made me sad, how the sparkle of that house had dulled. I really wish I could go back and have that feeling again--that surge of excitement and wonder as I looked around at all their stuff--instead of the sinking feeling of much work ahead and a lot of sad, abandoned items at an estate sale.
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3 comments:
We are about to have our first baby in October. I understand all the feelings you are having about your grandparents...I think there is some morbid death hormone that is released by pregnancy and motherhood...I want to go back to the time when those things were magical just like you....It really teaches you to cherish your family and hold them close...when they are gone, the memory is all you will have. Even though it may look like junk...it was your family's junk...you will find something that means the world to you and when they are gone...everytime you look at it the magic will return...and everytime you look at your daughter, remember she is living the magic now.
Melissa--I really appreciate your thoughts and think you're right. I'm sure I'll find something of my grandparents' that holds some of that magic I once knew...and then I can share it with Becca. Congratulations on your pregnancy!
Thanks! I found your blog through a friend of a friend's blog last year some time...lol. Your daughter is adorable! I have enjoyed reading about your pregnancy and the birth of beautiful Becca and now about the first few months of being a parent!
For me it was a silly Christmas decoration. A cuckoo clock like music box that always hung at the bottom of their basement stairs no matter what time of year. My mom has it and to this day it reminds me of all the good times I had with them! It is ugly as sin, but I love it! It too hangs in my mom's house all year long at the bottom of the basement stairs!
Thanks again for sharing your thoughts! I have really enjoyed them.
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