Back into the swinging noose of things

Am back at work, though I admit it may be a bit premature. Still, I made it through the night and kept down dinner, which is a resounding success in my books. Yesterday was a pretty miserable day. Aside from the heaving, body-shaking illness, I got word from the really big company I'd had some interest in. The HR woman had told me last month that while they were under a hiring freeze, they had a set amount of people retiring this year. She went on to say that the company was moving people about but that they didn't want me to give up on them, they just needed to suss out what open spots would appear where. So it seemed a good sign--like an offer would be around the corner once some shifting had occurred.

Then an e-mail yesterday from someone else in HR saying that the really big company had no open spots at the moment, but that they'd hold on to my application for a year. A serious WTF experience, to say the least. You want me; you don't want me? There's a spot we're trying to find for you; there's no open spot?

It's leaving me flappin' out in the wind a bit. I was told I need to figure out what I want to do with my career, and then decide if it's important enough that I continue to do it after children. I don't know. Nothing is really compelling at the moment. There's no hard desire to make a career out of my current job. In the last year or so, I've downgraded job-wise and lost myself a bit in the process, it seems. So much thought still needs to be spent on this rather sticky subject. Sigh.

Still one hysterical aside from yesterday: I was contacted by a college student who'd found one of my articles on parenting online. The girl was using my article on raising bilingual children for a major school paper, and could she please have my bio? Did I have any experience in child development? What was my schooling? Did I have any books published on the topic? Ummm, sorry. I'm a lowly journalist with no actual experience and just some luck on Profnet.com. Poor gal. I think I proved much less impressive than she'd hoped. But isn't that part of the beauty of being a journalist? I get to pretend I know a lot about everything, when in fact I just get to know people who know everything.